


Reaching for Something in the Dark

by coldheartscoldersongs



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Biphobia, Coming Out, Cunnilingus, F/F, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Forced coming out, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, High School, Homophobia, Jewish Character, Love Confessions, Making Out, Meddling Friends, Mutual Pining, Public Sex, Secret Relationship, Sleepovers, Slurs, Smut, Soccer, Vaginal Fingering, brief minor violence, coming to terms with sexuality, underage drinking (only once)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:46:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldheartscoldersongs/pseuds/coldheartscoldersongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah and Amy have been friends since third grade. Sarah's in the closet and in love with Amy. It'll never go anywhere, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago and am now deciding to post it (after editing it obviously). Chapters should be posted every few days or so.

It was 7:15 on an early September morning. Amy Galetti pulled into her best friend’s driveway so that they could start their junior year together. Sarah Angeman flew out of the front door, fumbling with her bag. As she got into the passenger’s seat, Amy sighed.

“You can’t keep waking up five minutes before I get here,” she scolded her.

Sarah shrugged. “I slept through my alarm.” Together they were quite a pair. Amy’s long copper locks contrasted with Sarah’s Raven pixie cut and bold glasses. Amy was paler than a snowman while Sarah had a perpetual tan. Amy was co-captain of Lee High’s varsity soccer team while Sarah spent her time with her sketchbook.

“Okay, just don’t let it happen again.” Burrsville, Connecticut was a sleepy suburban town among America’s tens of thousands. It was the kind of town residents either wanted to get out of or live in for the rest of their lives. There was some New England charm (or elitism, as Sarah would say) to it.

“This is gonna be our year, Sar; I can feel it. We’re not gonna collapse under the academic pressure of junior year, we’ll find boyfriends, and we might even get invited to a party!” Sarah couldn’t hold her laughter back. “What, you don’t think we’ll get invited to parties? I know they’re not really your scene, but they’re not so bad.”

“It’s not that.” Sarah had laughed at the getting a boyfriend part, mostly because she was a hardcore, closeted lesbian. The girls’ friendship had begun in October of third grade, when Sarah moved to Burrsville and Amy was the only person who invited her to a lunch table. Even now, Amy was somewhat popular because of her relation to the soccer team. Since that day in third grade, Sarah had discovered her acute homosexuality when she was eleven and had been in love with Amy since they were thirteen; not that it mattered. Amy was straight and that would never change, so Sarah was doomed to live out her unrequited love for at least a little while more.

Nobody knew that she was gay except for her Art Honors Society friends Beth, Jo, Denise, and Danny. Her parents were super Jewish and would throw her out and she was just plain worried for her safety. Her art friends knew absolutely everything.

“Well, we’re gonna have a great year no matter what,” Amy concluded.

-

They had lunch together during sixth period with only two classes afterwards. “How’s your first day going?” Sarah asked Amy.

“It’s been alright. I’m just kinda pissed that this is the only time we’re together during the school day. How’s the Art Society?”

“Still great.”

“How are Beth, Jo, Denise, and Danny?”

“Good.”

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Sarah went to the art room and Amy to soccer practice after the final bell. There were twenty girls on the soccer team this year, all upperclassmen with the exception of three sophomores. Coach Matthews was dressed in a clean blue tracksuit. 

“Get dressed, ladies!” She barked. While she was often harsh, it was only because she wanted them to be at their best.

Amy pulled on her blue and silver jersey with a flashy number six on the back. She was playing offense this year after proving herself a worthy co-captain. Jenny Bane, the other captain and a senior, tapped her shoulder. “Hey Jen.”

“Hey. Do you have any ideas for team bonding yet?” It was mandatory and her job as captain to plan it. They never got around to it during preseason, so it was still hanging over her head.

“Why don’t we go for pizza on Friday?”

Jenny nodded. “Pizza sounds good. We’ll work out the details tomorrow.”

“Great.” Amy neither liked nor disliked Jenny. It was the blonde’s second year as captain and she took the job seriously. She was one of their star players, so Amy guessed she had to be.

-

Sarah headed over to the art room for the year’s first National Art Honors Society meeting. With about ten other kids, she worked on various art projects over the course of the year. She really wanted to get into an art school and Ms. Vasquez, the art teacher, believed in her wholeheartedly.

Sarah immediately sat with Beth, Denise, Jo, and Danny, who she hadn’t seen in a week. Beth’s face brightened. “Hey!”

“Hi,” Sarah said.

“How was your first day back?” Denise asked. Unfortunately, Sarah didn’t have classes with any of them.

“Alright.”

“Still in love with Amy?” Jo and Danny, the couple, asked.

“It appears so.”

Since it was only the first day, Ms. Vasquez gave them a list of everything they’d be doing throughout the year. The meeting was dismissed soon after and Sarah started on her walk home.

-

When practice ended at 5:30, everyone raced into the locker. Amy changed back into her regular clothes and drove to her apartment building. She could tell that her mother was still at work, so she let herself in. “Julie?”

Her twelve year old sister popped her head out of her room. “What?”

“I’m home. I’ll start dinner after I finish my homework.”

“Okay.”

As a single mom, Violet Walsh was often at work. She made a lot of money, but it didn’t make up for their deadbeat dad who left when Amy was seven and Julie was two. He never wanted kids but gave in and seemed eternally bitter about it. He and Violet fought a lot before he took off. No one had heard from him since and Amy wanted nothing to do with him.

She realized she had no homework, so she warmed up some frozen pizza for dinner. Julie had just started middle school and talked of nothing else. Their mother got home close to nine o’clock when the sisters were in their respective rooms.

“How was your day Amy?” Violet asked.

“It was okay. I had practice.”

“Did it go well?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s Sarah?”

“Good.”

Have you talked to Charlie recently?” Charlie Runo lived across the hall. He was in the same grade as Amy but went to a private school. They’d been friends all their lives and often confided in each other.

“Not since last week.”

“He’s home now, so why don’t you drop by?” Amy listened to her mother and knocked on the door to apartment 22B. 

Charlie opened the door and smiled. “Hey.” Amy noticed that his once shaggy brown hair had been cut.  
“Nice haircut.”

“Thanks.”

“Mine if I come in, stranger?” She went in and they sat down on the couch.

“How’s life?” He asked.

“Nothing wild going on. I got co-captain of the soccer team.”

“That’s something. And your birthday just happened,” he pointed out.

“Yeah.” They talked for ten more minutes before Amy let herself out.

-

Sarah got home from school around 4:30. Her corgi, Muffin, jumped on her. “Easy, boy.” He licked her face energetically, eliciting a grin from her. Sarah liked to be appreciated, even if only by her pet.

Her mother sat in the living room reading a magazine. “How was school Sarah?”

She shrugged. “Okay.” She went upstairs to draw in her sketchbook and listen to music before dinner. Teachers never gave homework the first week of school, so she could hold onto her sanity before diving into junior year.

Judy Angeman was a stay at home mom while Sarah’s father went to work. She didn’t get along with her conservative Jewish parents very well. She did have faith, but not to the extent of her parents. Missing temple once in awhile wasn’t the end of the world to her. On top of that, her parents probably wouldn’t react favorably if she came out to them; that was her biggest reason for staying in the closet. She would come out to them one day, but that day was far off in the future.

Sarah’s mother made a vegetarian lasagna, which was surprisingly good. Josh Angeman came home from work and joined them for dinner. Afterwards, Sarah showered and continued to draw. Her thoughts wandered to Amy. Despite Sarah pushing the thoughts back, they never stayed away. She was happy being gay, but falling for her best friend? Not so much.

It was hard for her to fall asleep with everything swimming around in her head. She’d never admit it, but she had a fantasy world where she and Amy were together and their lives were perfect. No homophobic parents or judgemental classmates, just love. Sarah strived every day to make that world as real as possible and maybe someday, a version of that world would come true.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the queer angst (tm) begins enjoy friends.

Amy had a game on Tuesday; the first one of the season. It was a home game and even though they had a less than stellar record last year, she was determined to fix that. Sarah stayed late to watch and the team ended up beating the other team 2-0. Amy scored one goal and the other was scored by a senior.

Sarah waited for Amy outside the locker room. “I don’t know much about soccer, but it looked like you played a great game.”

Amy smiled, her face still flushed from the running. “Thanks. We were a below average team last year, but this year I want us to make it to the playoffs.”

“I’m sure you will. You’re a great leader and an even better player.”

-

After Amy dropped Sarah off at home, she started her homework. In her sketchbook, she doodled yet another picture of her best friend. In this one, she looked almost ethereal with her hair cascading down past her elbows. Sarah sighed at her creation. If Amy knew how often she drew her, she might suspect the truth.

Sarah ate dinner with her parents, sneaking a little food to Muffin during the meal. There was rarely any conversation during meals and tonight was no different, so she focused on her food.

After the eerily silent meal, Sarah padded upstairs to shower. Some days, showering was the only quiet time she had away from the real world and solely to herself.

 

Wednesday was a blur; there were classes, practice, club meetings, and homework. That day in Art Honors Society, Sarah’s friends were unusually rowdy.

“You need to tell Amy you like her,” Beth said. 

Sarah felt like she had been sucker punched. “I don’t think so.”

“Dude, you’ve been pining after her since eighth grade.” Jo shook her head. “It’s time to take action.”

“She doesn’t even know that I’m gay, much less that I’m in love with her.”

“It’s probably not my place to speak, but maybe you should come out to her. She’s your best friend, one way or another,” Denise said.

“I don’t think I’m ready to come out. I know I’ve been in the closet to everyone except you guys for five years, but I think I can hold off.”

-

After practice, Jenny and Amy gave the rest of the team full details on team bonding night. It would be at Don’s Pizzeria and anyone with a car would be driving someone. It would be Friday after their game and everyone would pay for themselves. So far, Amy thought, being a captain wasn’t so bad.

She drove home and started dinner. Julie spoke of middle school drama Amy only vaguely paid attention to. Violet came home late and Amy went to bed shortly following her mother’s arrival.

Thursday was much the same. Sarah went home and Amy had an away game at Milbury High School. They tied 1-1, which was good enough for Amy, but not for Jenny. Everyone knew she had a real competitive streak, but Amy had never seen it to this extent.

“We could’ve left those bitches in the dust!” She snarled. “Defense needs to step it up!”

Amy touched her arm. “Jen, it was a good game; there will be more of them.” She softened a little, but was still blatantly pissed. You can’t win them all, but Amy had to give Jenny credit for trying.

Having nothing better to do, Sarah caught a ride with her friends to Amy’s away game at Bridgecastle High. They were known for having a ruthless soccer team, so Sarah was praying that they might win.

They got settled in the visiting stands and watched the game as it unfolded. None of them entirely knew what was going on, but they cheered and groaned in all the right places. During one very long time out, they went to go get food. Sarah noticed Amy and Jenny talking to the team, the former with more composure than the latter.

It was 0-0 when the time out ended and the two teams were caught in a stalemate, neither budging. Then there were five minutes on the clock and hearts were pounding. A sophomore passed Amy the ball and she threaded her way through Bridgecastle’s players before going in for the goals. The stands erupted in cheers. They won that game 1-0. Amy went to team bonding and Sarah rode home with her friends. 

Around 8:30, Sarah got a text from Amy: Can I come over? We can sit on the roof and drink pink wine.

They had been sitting on Sarah’s roof since middle school and although neither of them made a habit of drinking, Sarah’s parents had a killer, easily accessible wine cellar and wouldn’t miss half a bottle.

By 9:15, Amy had pulled in the driveway and she joined Sarah on the rooftop. 

“How was team bonding?” The brunette asked the redhead.

“Alright. Can I have a swig?” Sarah handed over the bottle. Amy popped the cork off and took two gulps to Sarah’s two sips.

“Good job today.”

“Thanks. Coach has been pushing us and it’s already paying off. We’re two-one-zero.” They sat in silence for a moment. “When do you think we’ll get boyfriends?”

Sarah almost scoffed. “It has to happen eventually. I mean, we’ll have first kisses and first dates and first loves. Hopefully the future is kind.”

“What if it happened now, though?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never kissed anyone and neither have I. No one wants a bad first kiss, so if we kiss each other now, it’ll be good. We can be each other's’ first kisses.”

“Amy, are you drunk?”

“I don’t think so, but I really want to kiss you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t trust it with anyone else.”

Tentatively, Sarah leaned in and pressed her mouth to Amy’s. Her lips tasted like pizza and wine and Chapstick. She pulled away, feeling like it was too good to be true.

Amy gazed at her expectantly. “So?”

“I liked it,” Sarah said cautiously.

“Do you wanna do it again?”

She could only nod before Amy crashed her lips to hers. They smacked and sucked and bit and there was even some tongue action. By the end of it, Sarah was having a hard time breathing. 

Amy gave Sarah’s mouth a final peck. “Night.”

“N-night, A.” Holy shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have ended the last chapter on a cliffhanger but this one probably makes up for it.

Amy woke up before she opened her eyes. She was slammed with a wave of nausea and a headache. When she did open her eyes, they were seared by the sun. What happened last night?

She searched her thoughts, realizing she had been drunk, so it was harder to recall. When she did remember the night before, she was blown away. I kissed Sarah last night. Then another thought.

I liked it.

Did she like it because she was drunk? Did it mean anything? Did it mean that she liked girls? What would this mean for her sexuality?

Oh God. Amy buried her head in her pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

-

Sarah woke up feeling a little groggy from the wine. There was a moment before she remembered the prior night. She hoped with all her heart that Amy wasn’t straight and that they’d ride into sunset; realistically, she had probably been kissing the alcohol, not her best friend. Still, they couldn’t just brush this one off.

Neither of the girls called each other for the rest of the weekend. On Monday, they barely spoke during lunch. After school, Sarah decided to drop the bomb on her friends.

“Sarah Eleanor Angeman, you just made my year,” Beth said.

“Are you serious?” Jo asked.

Sarah sighed. “I couldn’t make this up. I hope it leads to something, but it was probably a drunken mistake.

Denise shook her head. “Uh-uh. Things like this don’t just happen. That’s like the best first kiss story ever. Something will come from this. I don’t know what, but it won’t just pass you by. A night like that happens once in a lifetime.”

-

Amy drove home from practice in silence. She’d had a hard time focusing; Jenny and Coach made sure she paid the price. They yelled at her in front of the team because “being captain doesn’t mean you can fuck around like that”. It would have hard enough without their yelling. After dragging herself through her homework, she went to Charlie’s.

“Hey. Can I come in?” she said.

Charlie looked worried. “Sure.” They sat down and she began to tell him the story.

“You kissed Sarah?”

“I was drunk. But the point was, I liked it. I don’t know if I would sober, but-”

“Maybe you should try that.”

“Kissing her sober?”

“Yeah. If you don’t like, it won’t mean much. If you do, I guess you’ll have some things to figure out.”

“What if it means I’m not straight?”

He shrugged. “That’s up to you. Do you still like guys and did you ever really like guys? Do you like girls or just Sarah? I can’t answer that for you, but you might find out a lot about yourself.”

-

The next day during lunch, Sarah noticed that Amy looked really anxious. “What’s up?” She asked.

“Let’s go to the art hall. I’ll tell you there.” They walked in silence, with Sarah unsure of what would happen. When they reached the deserted hallway, they sat down on the floor. “I was thinking about Friday and what it might mean. I don’t know about you, but I was drunk, so I thought if we were sober…”

“I have to tell you something too.”

“Fire away.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

A few beats passed. “When did you know?”

“Sixth grade. I was really afraid of telling anyone.”

“Am I the first to know?”

“Besides Jo, Denise, Beth, and Danny.”

“Do...Do you still want to test it?”

“I was buzzed, so why not?” Their lips collided for the third time. It was just as good; hell, it was better sober. They broke apart when they couldn’t their breath any longer. Sarah broke the silence. “Are you…”

“I don’t know.”

The bell rang and they went their separate ways to seventh period. If they thought the hardest part was over, they were wrong, because it had only just begun.

Sarah was giddy for the rest of the day. She had kissed the love of her life three whole times in four days.

Her friends couldn’t handle it when she told them after school.

“Guys, she could still be straight,” Sarah said.

Danny chimed in. “Maybe she straight with exceptions or bi or pan, but no way she’s a hundred percent straight.”

“Heteroflexible is the term you’re looking for.”

He shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

-

Amy had an away game and she thought about Sarah on the bus ride there and back. Was she still straight? She’d never really thought of girls the way she thought of boys. Well, she was always a little more enthusiastic about her girl crushes than any girl she’d met. Did that make her bi? It did make sense, but that didn’t cover the Sarah issue. She was pretty sure Sarah had never liked her. Did she like Sarah? If figuring out a crush was harder than figuring out her sexuality, this was more than she bargained for Friday night on the roof.

When she fell asleep, something out of the ordinary happened. Amy had had a handful of sex dreams before, but never one starring her and her best friend. It wasn’t as hardcore as they came, but in real life it was enough to be considered getting some. She woke up sweating and breathing hard in the middle of the night.

I guess that settles it, she thought. I, Amy Rose Galetti, am not only bisexual, but I’m in love with my best friend.

-

“She has to like you, oh my God,” Jo whined.

“Well if she doesn’t like me, I think she likes girls at least,” Sarah said.

“Dude, she’s totally into you,” Danny agreed. “At this point, I’d be more surprised if she wasn’t.”

“She hasn’t actually come out to me but I think she will.”

“Do you think she likes you?” Denise asked.

“I guess it’s possible. I want her to like me, but I can’t make her if she doesn’t.”

-

Compared to the day before, Wednesday was uneventful. Amy and Sarah didn’t talk about what their relationship was or sexualities. Amy wanted to come out, but she felt it was too soon’ she had just come out to herself less than twenty four hours ago.

The day’s practice was better than Monday’s. Jenny and Coach didn’t give Amy hell, so she considered it a success.

She went home when practice was over, did her homework, and made dinner. In the silence, her thoughts got the best of her. Would she have to come out to her family? To her team? Amy ending up knocking on Charlie’s door.

“Hey.”

“I have something to tell you.” They went inside and got comfortable. “I thought about what you said, and I wanted you to be the first person I told; I’ve never even said it out loud before. I...I’m bisexual. I found out yesterday. And on top of that, I like Sarah, who told me she’s a lesbian.”

He blinked. “Wow.”

“You know, it all seems so obvious now that it’s out in the open. Like, how didn’t I figure this out before?”

“Hindsight bias has gotten the best of you.”

She smiled. “You’re not saying much.”

“I figured you’d have more to say than I do.”

“True.”

“So, are you gonna go after Sarah?”

“I don’t know. I want to, but I also don’t want to fuck up our friendship.”

“If she’s willing to make out with you, I’d say it’s a calculated risk.”

Amy laughed. “Thanks Charlie.”

-

The soccer team had a home game on Thursday, so Sarah snuck out of last period early to watch Amy play. It never ceased to amaze her how talented her friend was.

Instead of congratulating Amy on her victory after the game, Sarah walked home, because honestly, she was a little scared to face her. So much had gone down in the last week and so many things were up in the air that she didn’t know what to do.

After another silent dinner with her parents, Sarah retreated to her room to forget about the chaos for a while. She showered, changed into pajamas, and laid down on her bed with her earbuds in. She fell asleep, music still laying in her ears, and enjoyed a deep, dreamless sleep.

-

There was an away game on Friday, which Sarah and company happily drove to. The team lost, so Amy would tell Sarah all about Jenny’s rage filled rant.

In the locker room, anyone could tell how pissed off Jenny was; the Hulk had nothing on her. Amy sighed as she changed back into her regular clothes. “Jen, it’s only a game. Chill out.”

“We could have won that game.”

“Maybe so, but we’re not gonna win them all.”

“Well we should at least try harder so that we can win more!”

Alex, a senior, intervened. “Jen, she’s right, Calm down. I know you’re afraid of last season happening all over again, but that’s not gonna happen. New year, new season.” 

That seemed to shut Jenny up. She was the first to finish changing and the first to leave the locker room.

Amy hung behind. As the junior captain, it was her job to scour the locker room for any left behind belongings. She heard the door slam shut and looked up in curiosity. It was Sarah. “Sarah? What are you doing in here?”

She looked embarrassed. “I didn’t wanna wait till Monday, so I’ll just say it: I really like you and I have since eighth grade. I know I’m coming on pretty strong, but I-” She was cut off by Amy kissing her. Despite the shock, Sarah kissed her back. “What was that?” She asked when they broke apart.

“I have something to tell you too. I only figured it out on Tuesday, but I’m bi. And I like you too.”

She’d never seen Sarah look more alive. “You do? You are?”

“Yeah. And if you want to, maybe we could give this,” Amy motioned to the two of them, “a chance.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

Amy’s smile could have powered all of Connecticut. “I guess I am.”

They hugged and kissed each other wholeheartedly. For the first time in years, both of them felt truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day is a personal record for me. You might say that I write like I'm running out of time (finger guns). Now that Amy and Sarah are dating, what comes next?

The weekend was blissful for both Sarah and Amy. They were both excited over their new status as girlfriends and were very much in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Carlisle was happy for Amy when she told him and Sarah thought Jo, Denise, Danny, and Beth would surely die when she told them.

“Pining does pay off!” Denise screamed through the phone when Sarah called to tell her the news. She was so loud Sarah had to hold the phone away from her ear. 

They both wanted to keep their relationship unknown from their classmates and Sarah’s parents.

“Do you think we should tell your mom and Julie?” Sarah asked Amy when they were on the phone Sunday night. “I’m sure they would be cool with it.”

“Probably, but can we hold off for at least a little while? I wanna get to know you as Sarah My Girlfriend before I start showing you off.”

Sarah giggled. “Night babe.”

Amy sighed dreamily. “Night.”

-

Monday proved to be very strange. They couldn’t act like a couple at all. If Amy wanted to hold Sarah’s hand, she couldn’t. They couldn’t say cute things to each other. It might’ve been the most painful for Sarah, who was finally with the girl she’d been in love with for three years and couldn’t do anything about it. The most they could do was text each other or leave notes in each other’s lockers.

Sarah was bombarded with questions from the second she arrived at her locker after school. She gave in and told her four friends the whole story of how she and Amy got together. 

“I swear your life is like a movie or something,” Jo said. “Aside from being a closeted couple. That’s terrible. But otherwise, damn.”

“We’re planning on telling her folks soon and making sure mine never find out.” They nodded, knowing about her parental situation.

“You’re gonna have to be really careful then,” Beth observed.

“Yeah. Sneaking around is gonna get old fast. The school finding out wouldn’t be so bad, but neither of us are ready for that.” It was true. Lee High was somewhat tolerable toward oppressed groups, so they wouldn’t get killed, but they would still have to put up with a lot of bullshit. It would be worse for Amy. Sarah had know her sexuality for five years compared to her girlfriend’s six days.

-

Amy’s practice wasn’t too bad. They were on top of things and prepared for the following day’s game. Jenny’s temper was at bay. Amy got changed and went home. Much to her surprise, her mother was sitting at the kitchen table.

“You’re home early.”

“Weird stuff at the office. I’ll make dinner.” While Amy was doing her homework, an idea popped into her head. I should come out to Mom and Julie. Amy wanted to, but she was scared out of her mind. Oh, what the hell. I’ll be scared no matter when I do it.

Her mother was no chef, but it was a nice change of pace. They were eating quietly when Amy decided to make her move. 

“I have something to say.”

“No one’s stopping,” Julie said.

The words came tumbling out of her mouth. “Well, the thing is, I’m, uh, I’m bisexual.”

Violet put her fork down and looked at her older daughter. “Thank you for sharing.”

“What does that mean?” Julie asked her.

Amy addressed her sister first. “It means that I like more than one gender so I like boys and girls.”

“Okay.” Her sister continued to plow through her meal. This was an underwhelming reaction Amy hadn’t planned for.

“That’s it?”

“Amy,” her mother said, “I’m very glad you spoke up. The only thing I’ll be thinking about differently now is whether you’ll be bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend home.” 

It was more than Sarah would get, so Amy took it. At least she could be real with her family.

Amy picked Sarah up in the morning as always and kissed her senseless once they were out of her house’s view.

Sarah blushed. “Good morning to you too.”

“I came out last night.”

“That’s great honey, who’d you tell?”

The term of endearment made Amy’s insides tingle. “My mom and my sister. They were pretty cool with it.”

“Did you tell them about us?”

“No. I figured you’d want us to do that together.”

“I do. Do you?”

“Yeah.” It was a letdown every day when they reached the student parking lot and had reached their affection limit for the day. They went to their lockers, which were pretty close to each other, and headed off to first period.

“I miss you already,” Sarah whispered before bouncing off.

Amy watched her girlfriend leave. God, she loved her. Wait, what? Yeah, I love her, she thought, I really do. It might have been early in their relationship, but Sarah surely loved her too after three years of pining. She still couldn’t believe that she never picked up on it and that they were in a relationship. And yes, she was utterly and entirely in love with her best friend turned girlfriend.

-

Concentrating in class was difficult. Sarah was a good student, but once again she found herself thinking about Amy for the trillionth time since eighth grade. This time was different, though. They were a couple, albeit a closeted one. Sarah then realized that she had to tell Amy that she loved her. Maybe it was too soon, but Sarah had been been waiting a hell of a lot longer than the length of their relationship to tell her, and now she finally could.

 

During lunch, Sarah took Amy to the art hall, the place she’d come out to her, the place they went to get away.

“So what’s up?” Amy asked once they got comfortable on the floor.

Sarah intertwined Amy’s fingers with hers. “Sweetie, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“Okay, don’t freak out, but,” she took a deep breath, “I love you.” She could’ve sworn that Amy’s eyes were shining like the stars.

“I love you too, oh my God.” A tear slipped down her cheek, which Sarah wiped away. “You’ve probably been waiting a lot longer than I have to say that, babe. I mean, I never knew you liked me in all three years.”

“Really?”

“Not once.”

“I thought I was so obvious.”

“Either you were good at keeping a secret or I was totally oblivious.”

“You were a little oblivious…”

Amy smiled and shook her head. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” They kissed briefly and held hands until the bell rang.

Sarah stayed late to watch the home game after school. The visiting team was crappy at best and Amy played flawlessly. They won 4-0. Sarah waited until absolutely everyone had left the locker room and went in, where Amy was alone.

“Hi love.” She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl and kissed her.

“We've got to stop meeting like this, no matter how sweet it is.”

“Why’s that?”

“Someone might see.”

Sarah pulled away from her. “Oh.”

“Honey, I’m not ashamed to be with you; I’m not. But I want us to tell the world about us on our own terms. Nevertheless, whether we come out or we’re outed, I’ll stand by you the whole time.”

Sarah felt tears pooling in her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you. I swear you’re an angel.”

“Thirteen year me just died, along with my current self.”

“You’re the cutest dork ever.”

“I’m your cute dork.”

Amy drove Sarah home. The latter sighed as they pulled in in front of her house. 

“See you tomorrow,” Amy said.

“I love you. Congrats on your game.”

“Thanks, and I love you too.” She kissed Sarah for a full minute before letting her out.

-

Leading a double life between Amy/her friends and school/her parents was frustrating and hard. Sarah had to watch what she said and stay so far in the closet she thought she was in Narnia, even if it was for the best. Her parents would lose it if they knew she was a lesbian with a girlfriend. She secretly hoped they’d be okay with it because they knew and liked Amy, but that wasn’t a risk she was was willing to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back at it again with the angsty chapter endings.  
> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter in two because it was just too long. Enjoy.

Amy’s mother got home just before nine.

“Hi Amy.”

“Hi. Can Sarah come over for dinner tomorrow?”

“Sure. In fact, I get off early tomorrow, so I’ll join.”

School wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Amy and Sarah pretended they weren’t in love, Sarah went to National Art Honors Society and Amy went to practice. The strange part came when Sarah got home. At first nothing happened, but then dinner rolled around.

“Sarah, something about you is different,” her mother observed.

“I’m still me, that hasn’t changed.”

“No, of course. But something has changed.”

“Okay mom.” Secretly she was terrified that her mom had picked up on queerness, but for now, she assumed she was safe.

The next day, Sarah and her friends drove to Amy’s away game. They won again, and Sarah had never felt prouder of her girlfriend.

After returning to school, Amy drove Sarah to her apartment and Sarah called her parents to let them know she was eating at Amy’s. Violet had picked up two pizzas for four of them to eat.

“Hi Sarah,” Violet said.

“Hi Violet. Hi Julie.” There was some small talk about school, as there always was with parents. Towards the end of dinner, Amy initiated their plan.

“Um, there’s a reason I invited Sarah over for dinner,” she spoke slowly and articulated every word. Sarah squeezed her hand under the table.

“Why?” Julie asked, obviously confused. Her mother on the other hand looked like she’d already memorized the words about to come out of her daughter’s mouth.

“Well Julie, Sarah’s not just my best friend anymore. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Oh, okay.” She turned to Sarah. “Do you like boys and girls like Amy?”

Sarah smiled. “No, I just like girls.” The couple turned towards Violet, waiting for her to speak her mind.

“I didn’t know before tonight, but after watching you two interact tonight, I knew something had changed. Are you happy together?”

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.

“One more thing; how long?”

“Since Friday,” Amy said. “It’ll be a week tomorrow.”

“That’s great. And Sarah, I don’t want to interrogate you, but you do care about Amy, right?”

“Violet, I am very much in love with her.”

Grinning ear to ear, she turned to her daughter. “Amy?”

“I love her too.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing left to say. Are you going to tell your parents, Sarah?”

“Not if I want to keep living there.”

She nodded. “I see. Sarah, you’ve always been welcome here and that still stands.”

They ended the meal, Amy drove Sarah home. When she pulled into the driveway, she sighed. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” She kissed Amy for as long as she could. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

It was finally Friday, meaning Sarah and Amy had a whole weekend together without having to be people they weren’t. Amy had a home game that everyone, even Charlie came to see. They ended up winning 1-0, but it hadn’t been easy. Sarah could feel Amy getting tense, since they would be playing their rival, Morecraft High, in two weeks and Jenny was very worked up over it. This didn’t surprise Sarah, but she wished Amy didn’t have to deal with the extra, unnecessary pressure.

She and Charlie waited outside the locker room. When Amy saw them, delight washed over her face. She ran to hug Charlie and kiss Sarah.

“What are you doing here?” She asked Charlie.

“I haven’t seen you play in a while, so I figured I’d come out and watch. You were great, by the way.”

Sarah loved seeing Amy happy, and in that moment she was ecstatic. The two girls drove home together and as always, the fun ended at Sarah’s driveway.

“I wish we didn’t have to say so many goodbyes,” Sarah mused.

“Maybe one day we won’t have to,” Amy said. She kissed Sarah and watched her walk up the driveway and through the front door.

Over the weekend, they had long phone calls whenever there was a free moment. Amy and Sarah were so in love that other couples at their school might have been jealous if they weren’t in the closet. 

On Saturday afternoon, Sarah’s phone rang once again and she answered it immediately. “Hey babe.”

“Hi. I don’t wanna freak you out, but my mom’s away next weekend and Julie’s at a sleepover, so would you want to-”

“Spend the night?”

“Yeah. Obviously you’d have to tell your parents, but considering they think we’re just friends, I think we could pull it off. If you want to, that is.”

“That sounds amazing. It could be our first date, with movies and popcorn and pj pants and everything.” She could hear Amy grinning over the phone.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes.”

After hanging, Sarah felt both excited and nervous over Amy’s proposition. They were girlfriends now, so this was no longer just a sleepover. Amy was just as inexperienced as Sarah was, if it came to that, but at the same time, Sarah was really looking forward to it. Amy wouldn’t make her do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, so there was no real reason to worry, but that didn’t stop Sarah from doing so. All she knew for sure was that the week leading up to it would be anticipatory as hell.

-

Monday meant going back into the closet, something both of them hated. The only intimate time they had together was the car ride to school and lunch. It was days like this that made Amy wish that they could kiss or hold hands in the hallway and get no more than the blink of an eye. It was even harder to keep her sexuality from her team, who she saw as family. Maybe this was all for the best, but if it was, she couldn’t understand why it had to hurt so much.

On a brighter note, she was looking forward to spending Saturday with Sarah. It would be like old times, with the new and added excitement of being girlfriends. Amy didn’t know how much might happen between them, as long as they were comfortable, it would be alright.

Practice that day and felt unbearably long. She hadn’t felt so drained since preseason. Doing homework afterwards was a struggle but she managed. Dinner was cooked and eaten and before she knew it she was in bed and the day was over.

Come 7:15 the next morning, Amy sat in her car parked in Sarah’s driveway, ready to go to school. Almost ten minutes later, Amy saw her girlfriend barrel out of the door and into the passenger seat.

“Hi,” Sarah greeted her before giving her a good morning kiss.

“Morning. Hon, could you please try and get out the door a little faster?”

“Getting up is hard,” Sarah whined, to which Amy shook her head.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“Love you too.” They chattered as Amy drove on that first morning of October. She gave Sarah one final kiss before they had to leave the safe haven of her car.

“A?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you’d ever want to come out?” Amy knew this was a more sensitive topic for Sarah. Amy only had her reputation as an almost popular person and would probably be fine. Sarah already had her outcast status and insufferable parents. If Amy got a gross comment. Sarah might get a slur spray painted on her locker.

“I do babe, I really do, but I’m ready when you are, and you don’t seem ready. Once we come out, there’s no going back, so I don’t want us to have any regrets we do.”

Sarah’s face was bursting with a smile. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” The pair said their goodbyes for the morning and went off in different directions.

-

Throughout the morning, Amy devoted most of her thoughts to coming out. She knew it would be messy and scary and people might not all react the way her family did, but it was something she wanted to do for herself and her girlfriend. Nothing had ever felt so urgent or important. Her whole being ached and cried and begged to be free, if only she would let it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry today's chapter is on the short side. The next one will be v long and advance the plot a lot I promise (though it might not be up tomorrow because it's so long and I'm busy).

Sarah didn’t even have to ask her friends to drive her to the away game. The five of them watched from the stands as Amy, Jenny, and the rest of the team played fearlessly. They may have lost 2-0, but that was alright. If Jenny’s wrath didn’t burn too bright, Amy would be happy, which in turn made Sarah happy.

She called Amy after the game, who told them all about Jenny’s latest fit via speakerphone.

“Other than that, it was okay,” Amy finished. “Did you guys enjoy the game?”

“We did,” Denise answered,” “you played great. It’s no surprise that you’re captain.”

“Thanks; I certainly do try. Well, I gotta get going and give the girls another inspirational speech. Love you, Sarah.”

“Love you.”

After Sarah hung up, Beth said “I still can’t believe that it took you guys so long to get together and that you actually got together. You’re the closest thing to a perfect couple I’ve ever seen, and that includes my gross parents.” The Winfields had been together for twenty years and still acted like they were teenagers in love.

“Thanks, but we’re really not perfect.”

“Yes you are.”

Switching topics, Sarah told them about the upcoming weekend’s sleepover. “And strangely enough, it collides with out one month anniversary,” she added.

The car filled with “awws”, followed by more questions than the paparazzi would have asked her.

“Do you think you’ll do anything?” Danny asked.

“No idea. We’re like freshly fallen snow when it comes to anything sexual. I mean, we’re not clueless, but our resumes are sparse.”

Jo shrugged. “Look at it this way: whatever happens, happens. If you some stuff, consensually of course, great. If you don’t or if you do and it sucks, oh well.”

“You’re probably right. I’m just nervous.”

“Just remember to take your time,” Denise told her, “forcing it won’t help anyone one.”

“Got it.”

The gang dropped her off at home and she got to business. As soon as her homework was finished, her mother put dinner on the table.

“How was your day Sarah?”

“It was okay. My art friends and I saw Amy’s game.”

“How is Amy? I always forget to ask.”

“She’s fine.”

“Is she dating anyone?”

Alarms went off in Sarah’s head. “If she was I’d be the first to know.” Oh, the irony.

“Well, that’s okay.” Judy went on about some crap she and the neighborhood moms were doing. Sarah finished dinner and retreated to her room, sketchbook in hand. Tonight she was attempting to draw her corgi, Muffin; the fact that he was sitting still for once made that a relatively easy task.

“You know Muffin, I wish things didn’t have to be so goddamned complicated.” Muffin looked at her expectantly, not understanding a single word.

“Like, if I could come out publicly or even just to my parents, Amy and I wouldn’t have to hide so much. I hate not being able to kiss her or hold her hand in school or at her game or in my own home, for God’s sake.”

Hopefully a shower would clear her mind. Showering was an escape Sarah would always be grateful for, however small.

-

It was only Tuesday night, but Saturday seemed impossibly close to Amy. She may have been the “confident” one in their relationship, but it had her psyched out. At a time like this, the only thing she could do was go talk to Charlie.

He opened the door, as always, with a smile on his face. “Hey Confetti Galetti,” he said, using her old nickname. “Come on in.”

After sitting on the couch, Charlie went into therapist mode. “What’s bothering you today?”

“Mine and Sarah’s one month anniversary is this weekend, so we’re having a sleepover to celebrate.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “This sleepover sounds a little questionable, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“That’s kind of the part I’m worried about. We haven’t done that much and my thinking is that Saturday will set something off.”

“I have two pieces of advice for you. If it feels right, do it; if it doesn’t, don’t. Personally, I think you guys have a hell of a lot of sexual tension hanging in the air when you’re together.”

Amy smacked his arm. “Charlie!”

“Hey, I've just gathered this from what you’ve told me.”

“I won’t tell you the dirty details, but I’ll definitely tell you. See you around.”

“See you.”

-

Sarah was actually out the door and in Amy’s car on time Wednesday morning, and Amy was thankful for small miracles.

“You’re on time today, babe.” She said as she gave Sarah a peck.

“My mom told me I had to start waking up earlier, so I woke up at 6:45 instead of seven.”

“You wake up at seven?”

“Not anymore.” Amy rolled her eyes, eliciting a giggle from Sarah. “You love me.”

“That I do.” Before entering the school, the girls shared a kiss that lingered for as long as it could. “I love you Sarah,” Amy whispered.

“I love you Amy,” Sarah replied.

The day went by and Amy was at practice before she knew it. It was hard to keep her head in the game when her thoughts kept drifting. By now she was seriously considering coming out to her team, and why not? They were like family to her and she wouldn’t tell them about her relationship without Sarah’s explicit permission. For now she could wait, but she couldn’t bear to stay silent forever.

At home, she followed her usual routine; homework, dinner, whatever. Julie floated around the apartment and ultimately into Amy’s room. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Julie asked.

“Fire away, Jules.”

“Why did you pick Sarah to date? She used to be your best friend.”

“That’s just it: she’s still my best friend. You don’t wanna fall in love with someone who you have to hide stuff from. I also love Sarah very much and she loves me, so we put our fears aside and got together.”

“Does anyone know?”

“Besides you and Mom, only Charlie and Sarah’s friends know. I wish we could tell everyone, but…”

“They’d be mean to you?”

“Yes. Sarah would get the worst of it, and I wish I could protect her every minute of every day, but I can’t.”

“Wow.”

“It’s likely that you’ll fall in love one day kiddo, and you’ll feel the same way about them as I do about Amy.”

“I hope so.” That almost brought tears to Amy’s eyes.

You’ll be just fine, Amy thought as her sister left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update yesterday I was really busy. I think this chapter will make up for it though.

Amy had a home game that Thursday. Before befriending Amy, Sarah had never understood the appeal or suspense in soccer. Maybe she still didn’t entirely get it, but watching Amy tear up the field was like nothing she’d ever seen before. She would be shocked if Amy didn’t get recruited by a college in the next year.

After the game, Sarah hung back to congratulate Amy on yet another win. She entered the locker room after all the players had left and found her girlfriend rolling her eyes.

“You won’t believe the shit people leave behind,” Amy said. “Just because it’s called the locker room doesn’t make the place your own personal locker.”

“You played a great game today,” Sarah offered, hoping to cheer her up.

“Thanks. We’ll probably go to the playoffs and maybe even sectionals or states.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Sarah could see the stars in Amy’s eyes.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” Amy drove Sarah home, they shared one final kiss, and Sarah was back in her boring old house again. Suddenly, she remembered the sleepover. 

“Mom?”

Judy appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. “Yes?”

“Can I sleep over at Amy’s on Saturday? Her mom said it was okay.”

“I don't see why not.” Everything would go according to plan and it would turn out fine.

The next day Amy didn’t have a game, so she hung out at Sarah’s house after school.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Sarah whispered. It was risky as hell and she didn’t even want to think about what would happen if they got caught.

“Don’t worry babe. Your folks love me they don't suspect a thing.”

Sarah’s mom was home and greeted Amy warmly.

“Hi Mrs. A,” Amy said.

“Amy, it’s been so long since we’ve had you over. How are you?”

“I’m fine.” The small talk went on for a little while longer before Sarah had to practically drag Amy upstairs. Upon entering Sarah’s room, Amy locked the door.

“What are you doing?” Sarah asked her.

“I need to kiss you,” Amy said in a voice not entirely hers.

“Me too, but I don’t think this is the time or place.”

“Please?”

Sarah sighed. “We haven’t kissed since this morning, so I guess it’s okay.” She was taken aback by the sheer passion of Amy’s kiss. She felt herself being lowered onto her bed and Amy’s weight on top of her.

Neither girl had ever made out with anyone before, but what they lacked in experience they made up for in enthusiasm. They held back at first and as their confidence grew, so did the heat between them. They rolled around on the bed and Sarah ran her fingers through Amy’s hair. Amy’s hands slowly crept up Sarah’s torso before gently squeezing her breasts. At the same time, she moved her mouth from Sarah’s lips to her neck.

“No hickeys,” Sarah practically moaned.

“Promise.” Amy returned to kissing her and started grinding into her. Sarah knew that alarms should have been going off in her head, but all she felt was euphoria.

Before they could go any further, they broke apart, breathing deep to take the blush out of their faces.

“Amy, you can’t tell me you’ve never done this before.”

She laughed. “I haven’t. I just went with it.”

“I think I need a cold shower.”

They didn’t try anything for the rest of the afternoon. As Amy was leaving, she spoke very softly into Sarah’s ear.

“Maybe we can pick up where we left off tomorrow.” She then gave her dumbfounded girlfriend one last kiss before heading out the door.

That night, Sarah had some rather enticing dreams. She couldn’t go into detail, but if that was the prologue to the following night’s sleepover, she would be in for one hell of a night.

-

Amy woke on Saturday morning in a cold sweat. Sarah’s coming over tonight. I’ll be alone with my girlfriend for a whole night. Just the thought of it made her whole body tingle. There was so much potential in the night she could hardly think straight.

Her mother had left for her business trip to Chicago yesterday afternoon, so Amy only had to make breakfast for herself and Julie, who was already awake.

“Morning Amy,” Julie chimed.

“Morning. What time do I have to drive you to Karalyn’s house?”

“Five.”

“Okay.” She texted Sarah, telling her to come over at six. Homework shaped up to be a laborious, considering Amy’s attention span was nonexistent. Sarah was controlling her each and every thought. Whether that was a good or bad thing, it happened nevertheless. Once again she experienced the rush that left her feeling giddy, breathless, and not so sober. Hoping to distract herself, Amy grabbed her earbuds, phone, and sneakers and went for a run.

Amy’s feet pounded against the pavement and her blood thumped in her ears to the beat of her music. Soccer had made running more manageable, but that’s not what she was looking for. It started to feel like an out of body experience and sweat drenched her clothes, even in the crisp chill of October. When she couldn’t go on, she walked home.

When she got home it was nearly five- Amy could hardly believe that she ran for over an hour- so she drove Julie to her friend’s house and started to prepare herself for Sarah’s arrival. She took a cold shower to cleanse herself and her thoughts, out on an outfit straying from her everyday uniform, and anxiously waited. It was hard to push the thoughts away and just as she was about to give in, Amy heard three detached knocks on the front door.

Behind said door was her beautiful girlfriend, overnight bag in tow. No one was there to stop Amy from kissing Sarah, so she indulged herself.

“Hi babe. I missed you.”

Sarah tried and failed to hide her satisfaction. “I missed you.”

“Have I ever told you how seriously gorgeous you are?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to initiate yesterday’s part two.”

Amy pretended to be insulted. “Me, horny? Never.”

Sarah dropped her bag in Amy’s room and they turned up some music. When they were younger, dance parties were a favorite activity. Since they couldn’t just go on a date while closeted, the girls decided to make the best of it and take a trip down memory lane.

Eventually a slow song came on and they slow danced with surprisingly minimal awkwardness. Amy couldn’t get enough of how right everything felt. She hadn’t felt this way since, well, ever.

When dancing had run its course, Amy ordered a pizza. Sarah offered to pay for half of it, but Amy refused. 

“I’m counting this as our first date and as the host, I’ll be the one who’s paying,” Amy told her. To be honest, she loved spoiling Sarah.

Half an hour later, they were in front of the TV eating pizza right from the box; that alone would have killed their parents.

“I wish we could do this every day,” Sarah said wistfully.

Amy scooted closer her to nuzzle her neck. “One day, love.” Wordlessly, they reached for other’s hand.

Things were getting dull so Amy proposed the idea of movies in pjs. After changing, they watched The Breakfast Club and then Titanic. By the time credits were rolling again, it was almost midnight. Amy was now stroking Sarah’s hair and Sarah was curled up in her lap.

“Do you wanna go to bed babe?” Amy asked in a hushed tone.

Sarah nodded, blinking her eyes hard. “Yeah.”

The girls shuffled into Amy’s room and crawled into bed. After being best friends for half their lives, sharing a bed was not new to them. They spooned and attempted to actually fall asleep. Of course, that didn’t happen, because the best parts of a sleepover happen when the sleep is supposed to be taking place.

It started innocent enough. Sarah wanted to make Amy laugh, so she kept whispering absurd things. Amy finally lost it at “ass butter” and laughed until her stomach ached.

“I love you, S.”

“Love you too.”

A kiss was all it took to set them off. The kissing led to making out which led to Amy dragging Sarah out of bed and shoving her against the wall. Sarah’s legs wrapped around Amy’s torso. The latter was breathing heavily.

“Tell me when to stop,” Amy choked out.

“Don’t.”

Very carefully, Amy started to massage Sarah’s breasts. Being all alone, Sarah finally expressed her approval. Amy then took off Sarah’s shirt, waiting for her consent to go forward.

“Yes, A.”

Amy pretended like she knew what she was doing and lightly bit Sarah’s nipples. Before that night she didn’t even know Sarah capable of such noises.

Sarah began to work on giving Amy a hickey and alternatively grazing her boobs and butt. She finished by taking off Amy’s shirt and landing on top of her on her bed.

Quickly and efficiently, they practically ripped each other’s pants, leaving them only in their underwear. Their hands wandered and Sarah slid off Amy’s panties. For a few long seconds, they locked eyes, knowing exactly where things would escalate from there.They paused again just to see each other, really see each other, for the first time. Amy whispered a command to Sarah, who nodded and spread her legs. Amy pushed two fingers into her and pumped through her the best she could. Sarah was shaking and loved every second.

Before continuing, Amy teased Sarah a little; she touched her and made her moan. When Sarah started to whine, Amy started to eat eat her out. Sarah came in her mouth in few minutes. They then switched places and Amy learned that Sarah wasn’t as shy as she had always thought.

There was only one thing left to do after that, and they both planned on doing it.

“Do you want it?” Amy asked.

“Yes.” Sarah had never been more sure of anything in her whole life.

“Are you sure?”

“A hundred percent.”

When they made love, because it was so much more than just having sex, it was enough to make the stars swirl and pop in the sky that night. People had said a lot about sex, but words couldn’t really do it justice.

Afterwards, they both laid in bed, inhaling and exhaling, inhaling and exhaling.

“Woah,” Sarah croaked.

Amy glanced at her. “Woah is right.”

Sarah kissed Amy’s cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you.” They got wrapped up in each other and finally found sleep.

-

Amy woke up the next morning with her arms around the most beautiful girl in the world. She gently nudged Sarah, whose eyes fluttered awake.

“Morning Sare Bear.”

Sarah’s smiley was sleepy. “Today’s our one month anniversary.” She kissed Amy. 

Amy melted a little. “I swear to God you’re an angel.”

“Nah.”

They cuddled for awhile before Amy ran out to get bagels for them. It was 10:30, and while there was no set time to pick up Julie, Violet would be home by four. They got dressed, watched one last movie-The Great Gatsby- and Amy drove Sarah home.

They shared one last kiss, a kiss that was hard to break away from. Amy smiled as if she were in a dream. “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Sarah Angeman.”

Sarah snuck another peck from Amy’s lips. “Maybe thirteen old me knew something I didn’t . I think that’s why I fell in love with you three years ago, Amy Galetti.”

“Love you, baby. See you tomorrow.”

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write that well? I rarely write smut between two cis girls so I just did my best and didn't make it that graphic.
> 
> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day again...I'm on fire *fire emoji*.

For the remainder of Sunday, Sarah couldn’t sit still or think clearly. All she could think about was Amy and the night before. She paced around the house, trying to regain some self control.

“Sarah,” her father asked, “are you okay?”

“Just peachy, Dad.” She knew he wouldn’t pry; her parents had always been kind of distant. Sarah had a feeling that she was an accident and that they would’ve been happier childless.

How could she return to school tomorrow and pretend that Amy was only her best friend after the intimacy they’d shared together? If only she was ready to come out of the closet and deal with the backlash that would come with it. Sarah didn’t get tired of hiding, remembering that coming out would put her in immediate danger. For now, the closet was the lesser of two evils.

-

On Monday morning, Amy got up early just so she could see more of Sarah. She was still recovering from the weekend’s events, and understandably so.

She pulled into the Angemans’ driveway promptly at 7:10, a whole five minutes earlier than usual. Also out of the ordinary, Sarah was sitting in the passenger seat by 7:13.

“Hey.”

Amy blushed. “Hi.”

“I really wish we didn’t have to go to school today.”

“I’ll tell you what: if you’re still feeling that way on Friday, we’ll skip school and go to New Haven.”

Sarah’s jaw nearly fell off. “Are you serious?”

“As ever. We all need to live a little sometimes. Besides, Friday’s Coming Out Day, so I think we should celebrate by being able to be together publicly, even if it can’t be here.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” They drove to school in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. Upon arriving at school, they hung out by their lockers before parting ways to go to first period.

“Bye,” Amy whispered.

“Bye.”

Every day Amy looked forward to having lunch with Sarah, but at the same time it was torturous. She got to be with her for forty five minutes, but she couldn’t kiss her or hold her hand or anything. Even though just sitting and talking with her made Amy’s day, she wished they could act like the couple they were.

Amy spent practice trying to clear her mind, and it showed. Amy wasn't on top of her game, and Jenny seized the opportunity to kick her when she was down.

“Don’t mess up Galetti,” she snapped, “well, not more than you already have.”

Amy didn’t feel like taking Jenny’s shit, so she stole the ball from her and raced sixty yards down the field to make a goal. While the other girls and even Coach Matthews praised her, Amy simply stared Jenny down until she backed off.

Practice ended and Amy drove herself home. She was glad that she won the battle, but would she win the war? Either way, after the season ended, Jenny would be out of her life for good.

-

Sarah’s parents were weirdly interested in her that night. They asked her questions all during dinner; she answered them, but she wondered what their motive was.

Muffin followed her up to her room and curled up on the rug. She pet him absentmindedly and wondered what her parents were up to. Did they suspect her queerness? Did they know the truth about Amy? Were they planning some horrible way to reveal their knowledge to her? Sarah hoped that they were still in the dark, but there was no way to know for sure.

As she was lying in bed that night, she cross analyzed the matter as she could. It didn’t make sense for them to know, but anything was possible. Sarah just hoped that no matter what, she would be safe.

She woke up at 6:40 the next morning and made it out to Amy’s car on time. “Morning,” she gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the mouth. “Are we still on for Friday?”

“I am if you are.” Amy smiled, which always made Sarah’s stomach jumpy.

They drove to school, acting affectionate while they could and shutting it off when they went inside the building. The problem was, they couldn’t turn off their feelings. Staying in the closet never got easier, but it was a survival tactic.

There was an away game that afternoon, so it was a given that Sarah and her friends were in the stands. The team lost 2-1, but they had played their best until the clock ran out. Amy called her later to fill her in on Jenny’s latest temper tantrum.

“How did she even get voted in as captain?”

“I can talk shit about her all day long, but she’s one hell of a player. Her problem is that she doesn’t handle leadership or losing well; don’t even get me started on constructive criticism.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with her babe. But no matter what you do, don’t let her get the best of you.”

“I’m trying. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

-

Wednesday was pretty straightforward; go to school, go to practice, go home, eat dinner, and do homework. Life was just so dull sometimes, Amy thought. Dull and complicated- what a combination. The only things that took her mind off the monotony were Sarah and soccer, but even those had their drawbacks. No one could know that she and Sarah were together and at soccer she had to deal with her shitty co-captain. Her solace was found in knowing that Friday was only two days away and she’d be with Sarah the whole time. Maybe all Amy needed was that day trip to put her back in control of her life.

With Thursday came another home game. If Amy could just hang on for one more day, she’d make it to Friday.

As the team came out onto the field, Amy could see Sarah cheering from the home stands. Knowing that someone was rooting for her was the best motivation there was. The clock started and her thoughts went on mute. For forty five minutes, Amy and her teammates played their hearts out, and even Jenny was in control of her emotions. When all was said and done, the Lee High bloodhounds had won 2-0. The team cheered in victory all the way to the locker room.

Jenny grinned from ear to ear. “We did it ladies! Keep that up next week and we might have a chance in the playoffs!” She gave Amy a high five as she left leaving her slightly more confused than satisfied.

Amy started to search the locker room in search of left behind items when she heard the door shut.

“Amy?” It was Sarah. Amy’s heart fluttered.

“Yeah babe?”

Sarah threw her arms around Amy’s next. “I’m so proud of you. You guys operated like a unit out there.”

“That’s what they call teamwork, and thanks.”

“Still looking forward to New Haven tomorrow?”

“You bet.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” She kissed Sarah and snaked her arms around her waist. Ten seconds later, Amy heard the door slam shut, followed by silence. They jumped apart and in the doorway stood a wide eyed Jenny.

“Um, I thought I left my practice pants in here, but I guess now’s not a good time.” She hurried out.

Amy sank to the floor. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Sarah stood next to her, equally horrified. “Do you think she’ll-”

“Absolutely. Ever since the season started, she’s been out to get me for some reason. For her, that was striking gold.”

“Could you talk her out of it?” Sarah was visibly shaking now and her voice sounded wobbly, like it could break any second.

“Probably not. Either way I’ll have to lay down my dignity and pride. I’d rather do it with you than be at the mercy of my co-captain. I’m so fucking sorry, Sarah.”

“It’s not your fault; just bad luck. And this may not be the way we want to do it, and yeah it’s terrible, but at least we have each other.”

“Yeah. How much do you wanna bet it’ll be all over the school before Monday morning?”

Sarah smiled wryly. “There’s no doubt in my mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the ending. It gets better (OR DOES IT???).


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for two days since the last update. I don't really know how many chapters are left (I've already written the whole thing), but I think this will be done by next weekend.

Sarah felt like absolute shit upon waking up on Friday morning. She’d cried herself to sleep, barely slept, and had nightmares. Remembering New Haven rose her spirits a little; she wouldn’t have to face her classmates until Monday that way. She made herself coffee and sipped it, waiting for Amy’s car to pull up. When it finally did, she ran out and collapsed in the passenger seat.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi. Did you sleep okay?”

“Nope.”

Amy squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything.”

“I could’ve been more careful.”

“Yeah, but it’s still not your fault.”

Amy’s face wore a wry smile. “Isn’t it ironic that today is Coming Out Day?”

“I totally forgot. Are we still going to New Haven?”

“You know it.” Sarah beamed. “Also, I told Charlie about yesterday.”

“Neighbor Charlie?”

“Yeah. He gave his condolences, but didn’t have any real advice. Guess we just gotta brace ourselves for the storm. But enough of that, let’s go!”

The drive felt like a summertime cross country road trip. They laughed, music was pumping through the speakers, and despite everything, the two of them felt infinite. As long as they were outside of Burrsville, it seemed nothing could touch them.

They were able to get into New Haven just after eight. Amy fed a parking meter in front of a diner they decided to have breakfast at.Once they were seated inside, they both ordered coffee; Amy with one milk and no sugar, Sarah with two milks and two sugars.

“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” Sarah giggled. “Instead of being in first period trig, I’m eating breakfast in a diner in New Haven with my girlfriend.”

Amy laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Neither of them were used to saying that in public yet and it felt like a new level in their relationship, even if it could only be said in a town of strangers.

They ordered their food and were actually able to hold hands over the table.

“Are you excited for the playoffs?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah. We’ve been winning so much this season that I think we’re in no matter how we play next week.”

The bill came and as Sarah took out her wallet, Amy dismissed her. 

“I can pay my half,” Sarah insisted.

“I know you can babe, but this trip was my idea and I wanna take yesterday off my conscience.”

Sarah looked hurt. “Amy.”

Amy’s eyes were pleading. “Please.” After she paid, they walked out of the diner in silence.

Sarah touched Amy’s arm. “Honey, are you okay?”

“I’ll be okay,” she muttered. “I just feel like it was my fault cause it was in my locker room with my teammate.”

“Love, it was unavoidable. It’s not your fault, and you’re the only one beating yourself up over it.” She kissed her right in the middle of the street. For once in her life, Sarah didn’t care about what other people thought of her. If she wanted to kiss the girl she loved in public for all to see, then goddammit, she would. If there were any dirty looks, she was too consumed by her love for Amy to notice.

They broke the kiss and Sarah held Amy’s face in her hands. “I love you and I would never blame anything on you that was merely bad luck.”

Amy’s voice shook. “I thought you might be mad at me cause I’d be the reason you’d be out of the closet.”

“That’s not true at all,” she took Amy in her arms. “Oh sweetie, I could never be mad at you.” They held hands until Amy calmed down.

She broke the silence. “Do you wanna window shop or something?”

“Sure.” They found a cute little boutique down the block called Lime Trees.

“Maybe we should try some of this stuff on,” Amy said as she sifted through the racks.

“I didn’t know you were so into clothes,” Sarah said.

“Guilty pleasure.” Amy grabbed an armful of clothes and headed for the changing room. Sarah shrugged and took a couple pairs of jeans. 

There were only a couple of rooms, and they were all really small.

“Why don’t we go in the big one?” Amy offered.

“Together?”

“Hon, if you’re worried about it being weird, we’ve seen each other naked, so I think it’s okay.”

They entered the stall and hung the clothes on the hooks. Amy tried on a dress and Sarah tugged on a pair of jeans.

“I’m not gonna buy this dress, but what do you think?” Amy asked. To be blunt, Amy looked really fucking hot.

“Um, you, wow.” Sarah stammered.

Amy laughed and kissed here. Sarah’s head felt like it exploded. She pushed Amy up against the wall and started sucking on her neck.

“Sarah,” Amy croaked.

She put a finger to Amy’s lips and carried on. Sarah unzipped Amy’s dress and unclasped her bra. She could feel Amy trembling. Neither of them could have ever imagined holding hands in public, much less pleasuring each other.

Sarah felt Amy take off her jeans and top. They had limited space, so the girls had to think creatively. Sarah got down on her knees to eat Amy out. Perhaps the most incredible thing was that it all took place in complete silence.

After Amy came, they switched places. Amy fingered Sarah for what seemed like an eternity before putting her head between her legs. When all was said and done, they got dressed in the blink of an eye and left the store.

“I can’t believe we did that,” Sarah said, still awestruck.

“At home we can’t even look at each other, but anywhere else we’ll basically fuck each other in public,” Amy pointed out. Oh, the irony.

Tired out, they got lunch at a coffee shop.

“How much longer do we have?” Sarah asked.

“It’s 11:15 now, so we should probably leave around the time last period starts. That means we need to leave in two and a half hours.” 

After a little debate, Amy agreed to let Sarah pay her share.

Upon leaving the coffee shop, Sarah asked “what are we going to do for two and half hours?”

Amy shrugged. “There’s a couple of malls around here, do you wanna check them out?”

“Sure.”

They tried some clothes on (keeping it PG this time) and walked aimlessly around the mall for a while. Amy got her makeup done and both of them got massages. After all that, it was nearly time to go. They walked back to Amy’s car. Sarah never wanted the day to end, but nothing can ever last.

With a little more than an hour drive home, the day’s excursion wasn’t over yet. They sang along to their music so loud that the car shook with the sound’s vibrations.

Just before 3:30, Amy pulled into Sarah’s driveway.

“Thanks for one of the best days of my life,” Sarah whispered. “I just wish it didn’t have to end.”

“Me too babe, but that’s life. I love you.”

Sarah attacked Amy’s lips before leaving the car. “Love you too. No matter what happens on Monday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok there are gonna be thirteen chapters to this so it's almost done wow. I hope y'all are enjoying this.

Amy and Sarah most of that weekend texting or calling each other because they knew that come Monday morning, nothing would ever be the same again. Amy expected the worst, especially from Jenny.

She drove to Sarah’s house on Monday with an impending sense of doom. Anything could happen, and she feared the unknown.

Sarah barreled into the car and straight into Amy’s arms, on the verge of tears.

“I’m not ready,” she sobbed, burying her in Amy’s chest. “I can’t do it.”

“I’m scared too baby, and I wish we didn’t have to go through this, but we have no choice in the matter.” She wished she could be with Sarah all day and protect her from harm’s way, but that wasn’t possible.

As Amy parked her car in the student lot, Sarah spoke. “I just want you to remember that this isn’t your fault.”

Amy nodded, hands shaking. “Can I hold your hand?”

“It’s not like we have anything to hide anymore.” Hand in hand, they entered the school together.

The worst thing wasn’t what someone said, it was the absence of words altogether. As they walked to their lockers, students fell silent. Some gave them icy glares. It was excruciatingly to say the least.

Instead of hanging around their lockers, Amy dragged Sarah to the hall by the art room.

“No one will bother us here,” she said, eyes frantically scanning the hall.

“Ames, are you gonna be okay?” Sarah asked.

“I will if I can make it through practice.” Her voice dropped. “I’m just so scared, Sarah.”

Her eyes were full of understanding. They had to part ways once the bell rang, but Amy wasn’t sure if she could make it to class. Thankfully, her mind went on autopilot and she ended up in her seat in first period. She knew she had less to lose than Sarah, so she figured that at least one person wouldn’t hate her guts on account of her queerness.

Her teacher started the class, leaving no time for anyone to harass her. For the next forty five minutes at least, she was safe.

The bell rang and she tried to get to second period as fast as she could, knocking someone over in the process.

“Sorry,” she said automatically.

“No worries.” It was her teammate Alex. She stood up and addressed Amy.

“Hey, I heard about you-”

Amy cringed.

“No, please don’t freak out. I heard about you and I just wanted to say that I got your back and it’s really shitty that you have to go through this.”

She managed a smile. “Thanks.”

“So, Sarah Angeman, huh?”

Amy smiled for the first time that day. “Yeah.”

“Well, see you at practice.”

“Bye.”

-

Sarah wasn’t fairing as well. People made really gross comments. Some girls were worried that she’d try and hit on them; a few guys wanted a threesome with her and Amy (as if, and ew). No one laid a hand on her, but they didn’t have to. The words cut just as deep.

After third period, Beth crushed her in a hug in the middle of the hallway.

“I am so fucking sorry Sarah,” she said. “You did nothing to deserve this.”

“Thanks. Everyone's been pretty shitty to me this morning.”

“Just remember that you and Amy aren’t alone. You have me, Denise, Jo, Danny.”

“I know.”

“Stay strong.”

-

It was now fourth period with two more classes before lunch. Amy felt like she was going to keel over and die at any moment. As she walked past a group, someone said, “whore.”

She stopped dead in her tracks. “What the fuck did you just call me?”

The girl’s eyes widened. “I didn’t think you’d hear me.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. What the everloving fuck did you just call me?”

She gulped. “A whore.”

“And why the fuck did you call me that?”

“You’re bi. Bi people just wanna sleep with as many people as possible.”

“Besides that being a slut shaming, biphobic stereotype, so what if I slept with twenty people a week? I’d be getting more than you are, and trust me, it’s not like I’d be sleeping with you.”

The girl hung her head in shame, satisfying Amy. She got to class on time and put the incident out of her mind for the next hour and a half.

At lunch, Amy and Sarah traded horror stories.

“At least there are some people who don’t hate us,” Amy said.

Sarah shrugged. “Have you seen Jenny at all?”

Amy shook her head. “I’m preparing to explode during practice today.”

“Honey, do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Of course it’s a good idea! She ruined our lives, Sarah, she deserves some kind of consequence!”

“Okay, just please be careful. And don’t use violence.”

She sighed. “I won’t.”

The rest of the day wasn’t much better, but Amy just let it roll off her for the most part. She could really let herself go at soccer practice, and in more ways than one.

Practice that day was something else. The first playoff game would be the next day, so it was crucial that the team performed well that afternoon. Amy passed the ball constantly, but never to Jenny and made six goals, each more aggressive than the last. She was saving her anger until the end. When Coach Matthews told them to hit the locker room, Amy let it rip.

“Jenny?” She turned her head. “What the actual fuck?”

She smirked. “What do you mean, co-captain?”

“I mean, what is so goddamn funny to you about outing me and my girlfriend? What’s so fucking hysterical about ruining our lives? Jesus Christ Jenny, I don’t even know why you hate me, so what the hell?”

“I hate you for a good reason. This is the first year we’ve had more than one captain, and I don't like sharing the spotlight. Our team is better than we’ve been in a long time, and maybe you’ve played a part in that, but there was no way I could let an opportunity like that pass me by. You swapping spit with your ‘best friend’ in the locker room? I could play you like a fiddle. I was hoping you’d come to me and I’d be able to force you into resigning as co-captain and threatening to tell if you didn’t.”

“You ruined my life for a power trip?”

“That’s one way to put it.”

She was being bad just because she wanted to be the single shining star of the girls’ varsity soccer team. Without thinking, Amy slapped Jenny across the face and walked away with her middle fingers held high.

“Fuck you, Jenny Bane,” she spat. “And don’t think you’re the only one who can play hardball.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the third to last chapter. This one is short, but the next two are going to be pretty long I think. Enjoy.

“You what?” Sarah gasped the next morning. She couldn’t believe Amy had done such a thing, or that they were outed for a power fantasy.

“The ball’s in her court no,” Amy shrugged. “I did what I had to do.”

“Still, you could’ve done without the slapping.”

Amy stroked Sarah’s hair. “I wanted to make a statement, babe.”

Sarah sighed and shook her head. “I hope Jenny at least apologizes.”

“Me too, but we shouldn’t count on it.”

They entered the school hand in hand, now completely apathetic towards their classmates’ attitudes. Sarah’s heart soared because she could finally hold her girlfriend’s hand in school. The side comments weren’t as stinging and the insults fewer because they didn’t care.

“Are you holding up alright?” Amy asked.

“I’m just fine.”

Amy’s face lit up. “You’re the strongest person I know besides my mom.”

“I’m honored to be on your mom’s level.”

Sarah’s classes weren’t that bad and her friends were like bodyguards in the hallways.

“You really don’t have to do this,” Sarah protested.

“We’re your friends Sare, and friends protect friends in their time of need,” Danny said.

Jo nodded. “Like the immortal Friends theme, ‘I’ll be there for you’.”

“Oh my God.”

“Shit aside, if we have to keep you safe, then that’s what we’re gonna do,” Denise said.

“I knew there was some reason I trusted you guys with everything.” Her friends smiled and she knew that they were glad too.

-

Amy had an away game that Tuesday, and she was still fuming from her encounter with Jenny. Before the game, she tried to talk with her.

“Hey Amy.” Jenny said tentatively.

“I reported you, you know.”

“I heard. I don’t wanna fuck you up before a playoff game, but-”

“Yeah, because there’s no way you could fuck up my life anymore than you possibly could.”

She looked like a kicked puppy. “I just wanted to apologize. I know you still hate me, but maybe until the end of season we could call a truce and I’ll be out of your life.”

Amy sighed. “Truce. But don’t think I’ve forgiven you.”

Jenny nodded and Coach Matthews hollered to get them out of the locker room and onto the field.

Playing the game was difficult. Amy couldn’t get out of her had and focusing was nearly impossible. They ended up winning somehow, but none of it was Amy’s doing. Jenny was hardly in a state of mind to be pissed at her.

Amy felt like a zombie for the rest of the night. To snap out of it, she called Sarah and told her about Jenny’s apology.

“Well it’s good that you reported her, and it’s good that she apologized.” Sarah said. “I don’t expect you guys to become the best of friends, but maybe there will be a little less hate on her end.”

“Maybe so. I still hope she gets in trouble for what she did, though.”

“You’re allowed to feel that way sweetheart. I hope they suspend her or something.”

“She seemed pretty remorseful, but I don’t think we can ever be friends. We agreed to a truce until the end of the season.”

“I’m glad things are getting better sweetie. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

-

Sarah woke up on Wednesday fully rested. She was confident and in love. Her friends had her back and her parents were in the dark.

She got dressed and ready for the day before going downstairs to eat breakfast and wait for Amy. As soon as Amy’s beat up Honda pulled up, Sarah was out the door.

She pecked her girlfriend on the lips. “Morning babe.” Her eyes went to the backseat. “Is that Starbucks?”

Amy smiled. “The logo gives it away/”

Sarah reached for the coffee. “You are seriously the best.”

“Love you too.”

It was nice that they could now have minimal PDA in school. Whenever Sarah and Amy were together now, people mostly left them alone. Being the only openly queer couple in school, Sarah was glad they got to experience what everyone else did.

The school day wasn’t so bad, just boring. Sarah was actually surprised at how tolerant her classmates were. Tolerance may have been the lowest form of acceptance, but she’d take it for now.

Amy drove her home before heading back to school for practice. “Love you.”

Sarah kissed her. “Love you too.”

-

On Thursday, Amy had a home game. The team was in the second round of the playoffs. Amy wanted to go to States as much as the next person, but she knew they would have to fight to get there. In the locker room, Jenny gave a pre-game speech.

“I can honestly say I never thought we’d make it this far, so I’m proud of you; I'm proud of us. But it isn’t over yet, and we can do so much more. Amy?”

Amy had nothing prepared. “Uh, I don’t know whether we’ll win or lose today, but we have to play our very best. Being in the third round would put us one step closer to States, which is one step closer to being the best Group One team in Connecticut. So let’s go!”

The girls ran out onto the field exhilarated. When the whistle blew, they pounced. For forty five minutes, there was nothing but goal and the ball. They ended up winning 3-0, unheard of in the playoffs. Knowing that her team was amazing, even better, knowing that she was a reason why, made Amy feel infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the penultimate chapter of Reaching for Something in the Dark. The next chapter should be up within a few days because it's long and I'm a busy person. Enjoy.

Sarah was glad that Amy had the weekend off from practice so that they could spend some time together.

“Hon, are you sure it’s okay?” Amy asked.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Of course it is. Just because my parents don’t know doesn’t mean we can’t hang out here.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in five.”

Soon enough, Sarah heard the front door open. Amy made small talk with her mother for a few minutes before Sarah led her into her room, where she jumped on the bed.”

“We won our game yesterday.”

“That’s great, honey!” Sarah kissed Amy before growing quiet. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff, and-”

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

“No! No, never. Actually, I was thinking that we could come out to my parents.”

“Oh.”

“You could come over for dinner some night next week and we could break the news to them.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Because safety is something to consider, babe. If they’re gonna throw you out, we should keep quiet.”

“They wouldn't throw me out.” The truth was, Sarah didn’t know. They’d never said anything for or against queer people, but being so religious, she assumed the worst.

“Okay, but you know you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I think I should.”

Amy looked concerned, but Sarah figured that they’d be alright. They always had been, so why should that change?

-

It was Monday all over again, but it wouldn’t be an ordinary week. Amy had the last playoff game on Tuesday and States on Saturday if they won. On top of that, she and Sarah were coming out to the Angemans on Wednesday. Amy was scared for every significant thing that was going to happen that week.

“Sarah, what if this whole week goes rogue?” She asked on the drive to school.

“I don’t know, and the thought scares me, but what if everything goes right? You win your playoff game and become state champions and my parents accept us.”

“To be honest, I’m more nervous about your parents than the games.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If that goes wrong, the consequences are a hell of a lot worse.”

“I’m not surprised, but that’s still really sweet.”

“Love you too.”

The school day was pleasantly uneventful until sixth period. Amy and Sarah were on their way to lunch, holding hands, when some shithead football players decided to disturb their peace.

“Hey dykes.”

They stopped cold in their tracks. Sarah started tearing up while Amy blew up.

“You think you’re so fucking funny, right? Picking on the only out queer couple at school. Well I got news for you, shitbags. Not only am I gonna get your asses suspended, good luck getting those football scholarships, but make my girlfriend cry and I'll tear your limbs off.” Amy was only five foot four, but the words flew off her tongue like acid. She grabbed Sarah’s hand, flipped off the football players, and tried to regain control of herself.

“I love you,” she whispered to Sarah, who was now crying.

“I love you too.”

“I am so fucking sorry. I’ll file a report before practice.”

“Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, Amy.”

“I’ll try.”

-

Try as she might, Sarah still felt like shit for the rest of the day, all because of some queerphobic douchebags. She really hoped her parents were accepting, because she couldn’t bear to go through this twice in one week. She she’d spend the rest of her life being discriminated against because she was a lesbian, but did it have to be so constant and unending?

As long as I have Amy and my friends, I’ll make it, she thought. If she didn’t have someone on her side, she might lose it.

-

Tuesday was the final game of the playoffs before States, an away game for Amy. It was hard to believe how far she’d come individually and as a member of the team since the season started.

She and Jenny were both supposed to give pep talks, so they combined theirs.

“We’re really proud of you guys for such a great season that none of us could’ve had on our own,” Jenny said.

Amy chimed in. “That being said, we can achieve more over the course of this game and maybe even States.”

Jenny spoke, “we can’t think of a better way to end such a fantastic season than by bringing home a trophy. So let’s go out there and kick some ass!”

When the clock started, Amy blacked out and her tunnel vision kicked in. The only things in the world were the ball and the goal. Someone passed the ball to her and she ran with it, barreling past the other team’s defense before finally scoring a goal.

Twenty minutes later, the game was tied one to one. They fought hard to regain possession of the ball, but the other team just wouldn’t give in. After fifteen minutes of this, Jenny stole the ball and slammed it in the goal with thirty seconds to go. When the clock ran out, the game was theirs. They were going to States.

-

As soon as Sarah got in the car the next morning, Amy kissed her with more vigor than she had in days.

“We won,” she whispered. 

Sarah couldn’t believe it. “You’re going to States?”

Amy nodded.

“Oh my God, that’s amazing! I’m so, so proud of you. Also, are you still coming over tonight?” The look on Amy’s face told Sarah that she had completely forgotten.

“Yeah, I’ll be over after practice.”

“You know you can back out anything.”

“I know, but if you’re ready, I think I’m ready too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

School was scary because with each class that went by, Sarah was forty five minutes closer to coming out to her parents. She had no idea how they might react, and she was bracing herself for the worst. She and Amy had already worked out a plan in case they were decidedly not happy to have an actively queer daughter. She would run like hell and live at Amy’s until they could figure out the next step. She’d probably have to get a job to help out, but so what? Amy and her own safety were the two most important things in Sarah’s world, and there wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do to preserve them.

Going home after school was nerve wracking. Jo, Denise, Danny, and Beth had wished her luck, but they couldn’t do much for Sarah beyond that. She tried to draw, but it just wasn’t happening. She laid down on her bed and pet Muffin while she stared at the ceiling.

“Muffin, I have to tell you something. I’m a lesbian, Amy’s bisexual, and we’re very much in love.” The corgi simply looked at her. “That’s what I thought.”

At 5:30, Sarah’s phone buzzed. Sure enough, there was a text from Amy.

On my way.

She texted back, see you <3.

The Angemans were beside themselves. Sarah’s mother ranted and raved about how she never saw Amy anymore.

“I hope you two haven’t grown apart, Sarah.”

“We haven’t.” If only her parents knew they would soon find out just how close they’d gotten.

There was a knock on the door. Sarah opened it an anxious Amy.

“You okay?” Sarah whispered.

“I’m just really nervous,” Amy whispered back.

“It’ll be okay.”

The meal began and Judy and Josh Angeman asked Amy the typical parent questions. She held Sarah’s hand under the table the entire time.

 

So what brings you here tonight, Amy?” Josh asked.

She glanced at Sarah. “I think Sarah can tell you that.”

Sarah’s heart rate seemed to suddenly reach maximum velocity. “Mom, you know how you said you were hoping we hadn’t grown apart? Well, we haven’t; quite the opposite actually. Tonight was planned to share some news. I...I’m a lesbian, Amy’s bisexual, and we’ve been dating for a month and a half.”

The silence that followed terrified Sarah. The present had never seemed so important.

Judy broke the silence. “I’m not one of those parents who can say I always knew, but I’m not going to leave you hanging either. Your father and I have always liked Amy very much as your friend, and now we get to like her as your girlfriend.”

Sarah was so relieved that she started to cry. Amy took her in her arms, eyes shining and turned to the adults.

“Thanks Mr. And Mrs. Angeman. I think you can tell this means a lot.”

“How did it happen?” Josh asked.

Sarah told them how she had pined after Amy for years before the night on the roof, omitting the part about the stolen alcohol. She told them how they kept their relationship a secret for a month before being outed. The looks on their faces told Sarah that they really had been in the dark the whole time.

“And all of this has happened in the last two months?” Her mother asked.

“Pretty much.”

“That certainly explains a lot. Are you two safe at school?”

“Thanks to Amy we are.”

“Well, we do approve of your relationship.”

Amy’s curfew was up and coming, so she headed out. Sarah walked her to her car.

“That went a lot better than expected,” Sarah sighed. “I thought they’d kick me out or something.”

“I’m very glad they didn’t.” Amy gave her a long kiss.

“It’s looking like the worst is over.”

“Don’t jinx it for us. Love you.”

“Love you too.” For the first time, maybe the first time in her life, Sarah felt completely free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter of Reaching for Something in the Dark! I enjoyed revisiting this story so much. I'm thankful to all of you who read this and left kudos. Enjoy the last chapter and maybe tell me what you thought in the comments

Amy woke up excited. States was two days away and everything in her life was falling into place. It seemed like the universe was on her side.

She got up early and drove to Sarah’s like always. The Angemans actually invited her in that morning.

Sarah came down the staircase looking thrilled.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

Sarah said goodbye to her parents, grabbed a bagel, and followed Amy out to the car. She pecked Amy on the lips.

“Things are looking up, Sarah.”

“I know and think about it: it’s only October, so this could be our best year yet.”

“Let’s hope so.” Amy revved up the engine and off they went to the not-so-miserable Lee High. Past the front doors of the school were banners wishing the girls’ soccer team lunch at States.

Amy turned to Sarah. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

Her girlfriend smiled. “Maybe.”

“I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

Then, Amy actually kissed her in the middle of the hallway. She didn’t care who saw because at long last, it didn’t matter. She was getting just about everything she wanted in the span of a week or so.

Sarah was dazed after the kiss. “I take it you’re more than a little grateful.”

They linked hands. “You know it.”

The school day was uneventful and peaceful. Amy drove Sarah home before returning to school for practice. Their opponents at States were Franklin High School, a school revered across Connecticut as one of the biggest athletic powerhouse around. Beating them would be difficult and might not even happen, but they had to try.

Practice that Thursday was all about coming up with a strategy to kick Franklin’s ass. They ran through the plays over and over again. Coach Matthews kept them until 5:30 and reminded them that they had a mandatory practice the following day.

Amy drove home worn out and sweaty but confident. Franklin may have been the better team, but at least they had a fighting chance.

-

Friday was exciting and terrifying for everyone involved. Sarah could see how intense Amy was getting over the game the following day, so she decided to lighten the mood. When Amy drove her home after school, she knew they had time before her practice, so Sarah coaxed her out of the car and into her house.

“My mom’s not home,” she said, hoping Amy would catch on.

“Ah.”

“Maybe we could do some...stuff.”

Amy wrapped her arms around Sarah’s waist. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, each other.”

“I’m certainly in the mood for some action.” They raced up to Sarah’s room, locked the door, and collapsed on the bed.

They kissed each other fiercely, as if they were starving. Sarah took Amy’s shirt and bra.

“You shouldn’t be so worked up right before a big event; you need to relax.”

Amy let out a soft moan, Sarah got to work. Usually Amy was the one doing most of the work, but Sarah wanted her girlfriend to be in a good state of mind for her big game the following day. It didn’t last very long, but Amy came twice.

“I love you,” Amy sighed, her voice breathy.

“I love you too. I’ll be there tomorrow, cheering you on, and I’ll be proud no matter what the outcome is.”

-

Amy woke up on Saturday, hardly believing the progression of events that led her to this point. The team hadn’t been to States in six years, and it had been even longer since they won. If everything went according to lan, they could bring back some of their former glory.

The game would be at the University of Connecticut’s field, making it all the more significant. Winning there would be the ultimate win and next year they’d be better for it.

Amy got dressed and headed out to the last practice of the season, stopping to grab a bagel along the way. She got to school and headed out to the field. Walking there, she could smell the anticipation. Today was a pivotal day, not just in her soccer career, but in her whole high school experience. A lot was riding on the game’s outcome, and Amy was doing everything possible to make sure it was in their favor.

During the two hour practice, Coach Matthews pushed them hard. She too would benefit if they won in the form of a bigger budget and paycheck. Afterwards, the girls had an hour to cool off and eat lunch. Amy drove to meet Sarah at Joe’s Pizza Parlor. Upon her arrival, Sarah tackled her.

“Are you excited?” Sarah asked her.

“Very much so.”

“Is Jenny behaving?”

“Yeah. Our truce expires after today anyway.”

“Good. I can’t wait to see you play.”

“I can’t wait to play.”

“Franklin won’t know what hit them.”

“That’s the plan.”

Sarah gave her a quick kiss. “Good luck. Remember to do your best.”

“Noted. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Amy returned to school just in time to hop on the bus to UConn. The bus filled with the nervous chatter of her teammates. She put in her earbuds and blasted some music in hopes of preparing herself for her most important game so far.

The drive was an hour long, but they arrived soon than Amy expected. It was three o’clock and the game was set to start at four. They got warmed up again. Franklin arrived fifteen minutes later and Amy had to admit that they even looked intimidating. They had more money, more talent, more of everything it seemed like. Franklin was also favored to win, even though a lot of people supported Lee High and their dark horse status. The game was anticipated by everyone, and Amy was starting to feel the reassure. She did her best to stay calm, did all her pre-game rituals, but they weren’t working like they normally did. Within a few minutes, she and Jenny had to round up the team and give inspirational speeches. Fantastic.

As the senior captain, Jenny went first. “Okay girls, this is it. The last game of the season, for us seniors the last game ever. There’s no guarantee that we’ll win, but there’s no guarantee of us losing either. If we do lose, it’s gonna be so close that those Franklin girls will be thanking God that they won that trophy. We’ve had an exceptional season, so let’s make sure we end it in an exceptional way.” She nodded to Amy.

“We aren’t favored to win because we’re the underdog, but you all know how powerful underdogs can be. They strike when it’s least expected. So ladies, act like lightning and strike that trophy right away from Franklin. We’re not all the best of friends, but on that field today, we have to act like sisters, like comrades. If we do that, at the very worst, we’re going down swinging.”

There was some cheering and one girl yelled “let’s kick some ass!” Amy felt infinite and hoped the feeling wouldn't fade until she woke up tomorrow morning. 

Coach Matthews got them on the field and the second the whistle blew, Amy’s brain shut down. Her tunnel vision kicked in and all she could think about were strategies on how to win. They were evolving and changing every second in her head. The team passed the ball back and forth all over through the team until Jenny scored, with seventeen minutes into the game. Franklin scored a goal ten minutes later and they were tied halfway through the game.

Amy was now entirely focused on how to win in the second half of the game. She drank an entire water bottle during a timeout, panting and sweaty. When the timeout was over, Coach Matthews got them back on the field and ready to go at Franklin with everything they had.

Most of the second half was a stalemate, a struggle between the two teams. Lee High would have the ball, Franklin would steal it, only to have it taken away from them. It was only when there were ten minutes left that a spark set off. Jenny chased after the ball ruthlessly and passed it to Amy. Amy was shocked but took less than a second to formulate a plan. She ran with the ball and passed it to Jenny, who passed it back to her. Together they wove through Franklin’s players and Amy scored a goal. It was 2-1, Lee High in the lead, five minutes to go. Franklin’s players looked terrified, Amy could see it in their faces. Defense put up a remarkable fight before time ran out and Lee High emerged victorious as state champions.

There was dead silence for a moment and then there was an eruption of cheers. The refs handed Jenny and Amy the trophy and they posed for a few pictures. The rest of the team had a field day. From the bleachers, Amy saw Sarah race down onto the field. Her girlfriend jumped into her arms and kissed the life right out of her. Amy’s arms were around Sarah and both of them smiled into the kiss. There were no guarantees of bliss, but they knew right then and there that, for the most part, everything would be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :)
> 
> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


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